Handling Difficult Horses Differently

I'll never forget the time I had to change the yard where I kept my horse. The new yard owner didn't seem to care much about properly integrating new horses into the existing herd. My gelding, already sensitive by nature, began showing signs of stress—he was overexcited, unpredictable, and increasingly difficult to handle.

It didn’t take long before the yard owner's daughter approached me. She suggested working with a well-known horsemanship trainer who regularly helped horses at their facility. And while that sounded helpful on the surface, I knew deep down that my horse's issues weren’t behavioural—they were physical.

That’s a distinction that too often gets overlooked.

That one sentence— a quote from the Vicomte Simon Cocozza—stuck with me more than anything else I’ve ever heard in the horse world. It validated everything I had been feeling but hadn’t yet fully trusted.

We’re often quick to label horses as “difficult” when they resist our cues or seem unpredictable. But what if their behaviour is a cry for help, not a sign of disobedience? I had allowed myself to be misled—by yard owners, by traditional advice, and even by other horse owners—into thinking my horse simply needed more training, firmer boundaries, or a different approach.

But I knew something deeper was going on.

One day, I watched a video of a trainer demonstrating how to mount a horse that had previously been labeled as “difficult.” At first glance, the horse was uncooperative and resistant. But what struck me most was the clear physical discomfort: a weak back, restricted movement, and poor use of its body under the saddle.

That moment confirmed it again—what looked like behavioural resistance was actually physical limitation. And yet, many would still chalk this up to a training issue.

As horse people, we often pride ourselves on being intuitive. But intuition only gets us so far if it’s not supported by knowledge and empathy. The key question we should be asking ourselves is:

“What is stopping this horse from cooperating?”

Because—let’s be honest—horses are cooperative by nature. They are herd animals, wired for social harmony. If a horse isn’t cooperating, it’s worth investigating why.

Is it:

• A learned pattern or behaviour?

• A trigger that reactivates old trauma or fear?

• Or is it something physical that makes cooperation painful or even impossible?

Recognising the difference is crucial.

Sometimes, in order to help our horse, we first have to look inward.

What are our motives when we label a horse as difficult?

Are we feeling frustrated, embarrassed, or helpless?

This is where coaching enters the picture—not just for the horse, but for the human, too. Understanding your own emotions, beliefs, and expectations can radically shift your relationship with your horse. It opens the door to curiosity rather than control, to empathy instead of ego.

Handling difficult horses differently starts with a change in perspective. It asks us to go beyond training plans and correction techniques, and instead see the whole picture:

• Body

• Mind

• Emotions—both theirs and ours.

It's not always the easier path, but it's certainly the kinder and more sustainable one. And ultimately, it's the one that leads to a true partnership—built on trust, respect, and understanding.